Lily Celeste

Questions!

In which I answer completely random questions and continue to make strange faces at the camera.

Being a Grown Up

This video got done really late this week after a crazy busy week. I basically freak out on camera. Enjoy.

Family and Friends

In this video, I share all about the glorious friends and family I’m surrounded by.

A Long Time Coming

For the the longest time I’ve been wanting to start a vlog. Today, I finally sat down and did it. This won’t entirely take over my blog, but it will be a part of it.

Here it is, let me know what you think!

The Journey of Friendship

One of my favorite things to do on train rides home is write. It’s such a relaxing setting that all I want to do is pour my heart onto a page, or in this case a screen.

On a whim I asked my best friend, Lindsey, what I should write about. She said herself. So now I will embark on the journey of writing about my friendship with Lindsey without crying in public. We’ll see how well that works out for me.

Lindsey and I met in fourth grade. I don’t actually remember this, but we were both involved in Madrona Children’s Theatre, so I’m sure we met around that time.

Our relationship didn’t escalate to more than acquaintances until 6th grade, when we liked the same boy. Being 11 years old, this was the end of my world. However, by 7th grade I was able to get over myself and form something of a friendship with her.

I say “something of a friendship,” because our relationship was very complicated for nearly fours years.

As it usually is for girls in their pre to early teens, everything about life was very dramatic. We’d be friends one minute and not the next. I wont get into the details of what happened, but it was an incredibly trying and difficult time for both of us. Teenage girls are very skilled at making each other miserable.

Finally by junior year of high school, we were able to put whatever differences we thought we had aside and become friends for good.

The strange, or maybe wonderful, part is that I think all the turmoil Lindsey and I put each other through has made us better friends in the long run.

Lindsey hasn’t just seen me as my usual sunshiny, delightful self. She’s seen me be horrible and mean and words I wish didn’t describe ways I’ve behaved. Those actions have even been towards her. But she loves me anyways and it makes us that much stronger.

Senior year of high school, both of us came to realize that we wouldn’t be seeing each other much in the coming year. I knew I was going to Western fairly early on, and it looked increasingly likely that Lindsey would go to school in Oregon.

On TV shows, where I get all my legitimate advice from, it had been made clear to me that friendships rarely lasted the distance that often comes with going away to college.

I pushed that thought out of my mind as I continued to count down the days until I graduated high school.

It only became very apparent to me that distance could grow between myself and someone I consider my sister, once she left for college, over a month before I would leave for Western.

Much to my surprise, in the year and half that Lindsey and I have been in college, we have grown even closer. Our every day text messages can range from one word texts that only we understand, to funny moments from our day, to pages of emotions being shared.

In April I experienced what I consider the hardest moment in my life. Even when I had to admit to Lindsey the mess that I had made, she was there for me. She listened to me sob on the phone. She’s stood by me as I’ve tried to piece my life and myself back together.

I think this was one of the most telling moments of our friendship. She had every right to be mad and disappointed in me. If she was, I saw no evidence of it. She was strong for me when I couldn’t be, all the way from another state.

That’s what I love about Lindsey the most. She is the strongest person I know. She’s in Salem, taking college by storm, maintaining a relationship with an incredible guy and supporting her friends and family. All while she’s mourning the loss of her father.

If that’s not strength, I don’t know what is. I’m so proud of her and inspired by her willpower to go on every day.

This is quickly getting very mushy, something I want desperately to avoid. So I will leave on this note:

I’ve known for a long time that my relationship with Lindsey would shape who I am. While it wasn’t always good experiences that influenced me, I am so grateful for everything I’ve been through with her. It’s made me into a stronger, more caring, and generally better person. I think that makes the bad times completely worth it.

On The Topic of Coming Out

I just watched the Same Love video, so I’m feeling pretty emotional, but also pretty lucky.

I came out as bisexual in 7th grade to some friends. They had a fairly poor reaction, so I kept that part of me hidden. Hidden from everyone I knew, hidden from myself.

I tried to pass it off as something I did in order to get attention, something very like myself to do back then.

It wasn’t until senior of high school, when I first joined tumblr, that I began to see that side of myself again. I finally saw an example of people who were out and happy with who they are.

But I still struggled with the idea that my friends and family might not accept me for who I am.

I started small, with a friend who is several years older than me and who I hoped would be wiser than my friends in high school. She introduced me to someone she knew who could help me answer all the questions about the stigma that comes with bisexuality and what coming out would be like.

Slowly I was able tell my best friends, my mom, my sister, other friends who I wasn’t as close with. They all accepted me for who I am.

My dad was the big hurdle. I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to judge whether or not he would be uncomfortable with his daughter being bisexual.

The uncertainty scared me, so I put it off. When I finally decided to tell my dad he seemed wary at first, but that never changed the fact that he loves me.

I was really lucky, my family and friends were incredibly supportive and I’m sure they will continue to be if I ever choose to date a girl.

Why am I talking about this now?

When I first came to college the idea of coming out to a whole new group of people seemed like a big hassle.

I was able to tell some of the people in my main group of friends towards the end of my freshman year. But the idea of telling Sarah, my roommate and one of my best friends, terrified me.

When I finally told her, guess what? She still loved me just the same.

Even though that was nearly a year ago, it just occurred to me the other night when I was chatting with friends, I do not need to come out to every single person I know.

Bisexuality is as much as a part of me as the fact that I love Taylor Swift’s music. It’s not something I need to announce, but if it comes up in a conversation, it’s okay to talk about it. It’s completely normal.

As someone who has always been completely accepting of any sexual orientation and who is growing up in a time where homosexuality is more accepted than ever, I can’t believe it took me this long to figure that out.

It doesn’t feel like some bomb I’m dropping on people as we’re talking, like I thought it would. The conversation can continue smoothly.

Of course, I’m incredibly lucky to have open and accepting friends. But realizing this has taken me one step closer to being comfortable in my own skin.

Late Night Break Up Thoughts

I had a break up on Tuesday.

Well, he broke up with me. It was only four days after he’d asked me to be his girlfriend. He told me he’d realized he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.

The days since then, I’ve felt like such a victim. How could he do this to me? Weren’t we SO into each just a few weeks ago?

But tonight I was thinking, I’m not the victim in this situation. In reality, I stood up for myself.

I could have said, okay lets go back to non-committed dating, which I think is what he expected me to say.

But, instead I told him I wasn’t going to wait around to see if maybe one day he would be ready again. I wasn’t going to get my heartbroken again just because I wasn’t good enough to be someone’s girlfriend. Again. If I couldn’t be in a real relationship with him, then I wasn’t going to be with him. I wasn’t willing to move backwards.

I said, I’ve always been the “never a girlfriend” girl so if that’s what this is going to become, maybe we should just end it.

Now that I think about it, I ended it.

And I’m really okay with that. Because I’m ready for a relationship.

I went through a really hard time earlier this year. I had my heart ripped out of my chest. But I pulled myself out of that awful heartbreak, and now I’m ready to be in relationship.

I just need someone to be ready to be in it with me.

And if he wasn’t with me for that, then I don’t want to be with him.

My best friend reminds me every day, it’s going to be okay.

And it is.

Nail Art: Spring!

Like most people living in Western Washington in the middle of February, I am counting down the days until it is Spring. I’ve been wearing lots of flower prints and brightly colored shirts so maybe the sun will get my drift. But, the rain continues to fall. 

So when I sat down to do my nails last night, Spring was my inspiration. I wanted a little relief from the pouring rain. So here are my spring themed nails, I’m sure there will be many more like them in the coming months.

The background color is Forget Now, the petals are Tokyo Pearl and the centers are Rise and Shine, all by Sinful Colors.

I LOVE how they turned out. I was not expecting this result, but it was a happy surprise. Hopefully they’ll last a while, as I wait for the clouds to clear.

If you have any nail art ideas or want to share art you’ve done, email me at LilyJaquith@gmail.com.

Open Letters to the Things I Love

Nail Art: Love!

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Although I’m single (expect a rant on that later in the month), I decided to do some Valentine’s Day themed nails. Especially since I have my nail tools back! 

The colors are all Sinful Colors. Thumb: Sweet Honeymoon. Index: Shining Heart. Middle: Volcanic. Ring: Um, I ripped off the label when I got it, like two years ago. But it’s some sort of hot pink. Sorry! Pinkie: Jasmine Jazz. And finally, the writing is in Tokyo Pearl.

They both read Love and have a heart on the thumb!

I really liked how it turned out, I feel as if I am definitely getting better at nail art. Send me pictures if you did your nails for Valentines, I’d love to see them. You can email me at LilyJaquith@gmail.com!